What Is ST? Healing the Whole You
The Dangers of Benzodiazepines
The Dangers of Benzodiazepines
If you are taking one or more benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Librium, Xanax, Ativan, Restoril, etc.) thinking of taking one, or know someone taking one, please read the following. I have had Spasmodic Torticollis since 2001 and thanks to the ST Recovery Clinic, I have recovered extremely well. However, early in my first year with ST when I was in severe pain and disfigurement, I was put on Klonopin, which I am still on to this day. While it provided me with some relief from my ST, it is beyond me why my doctors so nonchalantly kept me on Klonopin for over 6 years (particularly in light of my continuous reduction in ST symptoms), and it never would have happened had I known the potential dangers of this drug that I have recently learned about and feel compelled to share.
I have to admit that it was also my fault for staying on it for so long, but it had become a way of life that I unfortunately accepted and I was never given any indication that long term use could be harmful until I began having bizarre symptoms that no one could explain. While it may appear throughout this story/article that I am completely condemning benzos I want to make it clear that I believe that these meds can be helpful to us but to be very cautious regarding long term use. In addition, not all who are on benzos experience the side effects or withdrawal symptoms mentioned. However, I have found that a very large number of people do to varying degrees, and the more I become exposed to people who have taken or are taking them, and the more I learn about benzos in general, the more common this trend appears, often regardless of the strength in one’s dose..
Over the last year, I have been experiencing symptoms unlike anything I have ever before: The ironic thing is that none of these symptoms manifest in my physical appearance so convincing doctors and others how I actually feel is often extremely difficult and frustrating. This is just a partial list of my symptoms, and the severity varies throughout the day:
• My body feels like it is swaying back and forth. Like I am stuck in cement and my body is heaving
• Feels like I am on a boat bobbing up and down in the ocean
• Each step feels like I am balancing my foot and body on an unstable surface- with each step, my leg (and whole body) feels like it is wobbling as if balancing on a slippery surface like ice.
• The floor looks and feels like it is moving
• The floor feels soft and I am sinking into it. I often have to stand on tip toes to reduce this feeling
• When I walk, I feel like I am walking sideways on a moving walkway.
• My head often feels like it is not attached to my body, feels like it is floating or being pulled off.
• My skin feels like it is dripping off my bones and I am turning invisible.
• Severe muscle weakness as if my arms and legs are the weight of telephone poles.
• Vertigo and tinnitus
• Any visual or auditory stimuli makes all of these symptoms worse
• Anxiety and depersonalization, all of which I never experienced prior to going on Klonopin.
Rather than go into the details of what benzodiazepines do to the body from a scientific perspective, and discuss all of the side effects, withdrawal symptoms and how to taper off them, I urge anyone on benzos or thinking of going on them to consult this website: http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/index.htm. It is an online manual written by one of the leading experts on benzos called: BENZODIAZEPINES: HOW THEY WORK AND HOW TO WITHDRAW. It is the most comprehensive information I have yet to find on the subject and it has helped me tremendously There is also a fantastic benzodiazepine support group online at www.benzowithdrawal.com. .
It is unfortunate how little we who take them know about benzodiazepines. Even more unfortunate and surprising is how little our doctors understand the true nature of these meds. The more I learn the more astonished I am at how many lives have been affected. Nearly every person I know who has taken these meds for any length of time have been affected to varying degrees, not to mention those around them. While many suffer uncomfortable side effects from these drugs the interesting thing is that it is often not the side effects of the medication that are the biggest problem; rather, because of their addictive quality and the body’s tolerance to them, the biggest issue is typically withdrawal. Some have compared the potency of benzodiazepines to heroine.
Withdrawal does not only affect those who are weaning off benzos but those who are taking their prescribed dose. Reason being, chronic exposure to benzodiazepines causes physical adaptations in the brain to counteract the drug's effects, which is also known as tolerance. When the body builds up a tolerance it needs more of the drug to maintain equilibrium. When more of the drug is not taken, numerous physical and psychological symptoms often occur.
This is exactly what happened with me. I was taking the prescribed dose and had become tolerant without knowing it so I was already in withdrawal. So, by incorrectly thinking my symptoms were being caused by my meds, I started to wean off them, when in fact I was already in withdrawal and should have upped my dose for a short time to reach a comfortable level (comfortable meaning a reduction in symptoms) and then begin tapering slowly and properly under close supervision. The reason for starting a taper from a comfortable level is to try and minimize withdrawal symptoms as the body adjusts throughout the taper process.
As a result, I spent a year trying to get off my meds on my own, thinking they were causing my symptoms, but I was instead going through severe withdrawal and only making things worse by continuing a rapid, unsafe taper. I then had to up dose and start all over again. I shot myself in the foot not knowing the gun was loaded, so to speak, but that is how we learn so I have to look at it as a good thing. I say it is a good thing because had I not seen numerous specialists and gotten extensive testing, and spent thousands of dollars looking for answers, not to mention my frustration with each doctor being unable to help or even give me a glimmer of an idea as to what was wrong, I never would have continued my search and narrowed things down to determine what the real problem was. It really wasn’t until a good friend faxed me an article on benzos that it finally confirmed what was wrong and I was able to move in a direction that provided me with answers. The name of the article is The Benzo Trap and can be found at http://www.naturalsolutionsmag.com.
This was just like what I went through before I figured out I had ST. After many months and many doctors who could not figure out what was wrong with me, I diagnosed myself, not unlike what many STr’s have to do. I have to say that it is getting rather tiresome shelling out thousands of dollars to doctors who should be the ones providing me with answers. Many have hurt me in more ways than they have helped. With this in mind, please become as educated as you can and be your own health advocate, and find a doctor who can be your “partner” in your health care, rather than one who follows their own agenda without your input. Too many people’s lives are being affected by doctors’ complacency and we need to be the ones to change this. We have to remember that our doctors work for us. Without patients they would not be in business. There are some great docs out there, but we need to be diligent in our efforts to find them.
Now that I am on a safe and proper taper plan, working with a doctor who specializes in medication withdrawal (as a partner and not the sole decision maker), I know that I am finally moving in the right direction. I do not know what is in store for me down the road with further withdrawal, but I do know that in the future I will be symptom free and be able to live a normal life without the need for medications. I hope the same for all of you who are suffering with the same situation and if you are experiencing strange symptoms that no one understands, please look to your drugs.
Tom Seaman
Wilmington, NC